The where we were and the here we are

Take a wife completely against the concept of swinging and a husband who hadn't really considered it. Add years together with no intentional seed planting, and suddenly out of the blue it becomes possible. A month later, and we're just about to go. I need to sell tickets for this ride!

This blog might be written to be either the husband or the wife in our couple. We'll start each post by indicating who's writing (in this case husband).

My wife and I have been together many years. Prior to meeting my wife, I was involved in a poly triad for a short time. I had more of an idea of the thoughts that went into sharing someone. I'd also had a brief light swapping encounter with my girlfriend and a close friend. But, the table was by no means set with me. I hadn't really considered the possibility of sharing my wife. Sharing someone else's wife? Ok. Sharing my own? Ummmmmmmmm.

About two years ago, my wife and I started talking about getting a Sybian. We were reluctant to spend ~1,500 to buy one just to find out we didn't like it. So, I went searching for place where there might be one we could try. I found a number of people who had Sybians they were willing to share, with the caveat being they got to watch. My wife wasn't comfortable with that, and I wasn't sure about it either, though more comfortable than her. We also found a swingers club that had a Sybian. We went down that path, thinking we could use it in private, even if we didn't want to be in swinging. That ended up being a dead end; the club had recently done away with its Sybian.

But the conversation about the swingers club was interesting. My wife was 100% opposed to the idea of swinging, and voiced as much. I didn't have an interest in swinging either, so I wasn't seed planting. But, the idea percolated in my head a bit at the time. I think the seeds got planted in both of us.

Fast forward to about a month ago, and my wife and I were in bed discussing sex and she mentions that the idea of having two men play with her at once probably had its advantages. Suddenly, the flood gates opened. We spent a long time talking then and in the days that followed.

She gradually warmed to the idea of having sex with other men. For my part, I began to actively fantasize about her having sex with other men. It was and remains a huge turn on for me. She had been at times incredulous that I could actively want her to do that. But I'm very focused on her satisfaction and happiness, and I am positive she'd have a very enjoyable time.

As our discussions evolved, it became obvious that we were going to pursue this beyond discussions, at least at some level. So, we started digging around online, setting up profiles, etc. The planning for adventures has gone hand in hand with discussions. Both of us keep raising thoughts and ideas, things that cause trepidation, what we've found within ourselves or elsewhere that are interesting to discuss, and more.

It also became obvious that my limits were more open than hers were at this point, and that I was willing to proceed faster. That's ok, because we decided emphatically that we move at the fastest pace we mutually agree on. Primarily this means we move at her pace, though sometimes it means we move at mine.

We've spent a considerable amount of time talking about swinging in and out of bed, at the height of sexual energy and at completely non-sex related moments. We've both felt that if we couldn't comfortably talk about it outside of the bedroom, it was probably a sign that it was a good fantasy but nothing more.

Yet, some of our best discussions have happened at inopportune moments. When the logic cells are actively firing and the sexy cells are slumbering, some of the best questions come up. My wife handed me one while I was sitting on the toilet and she came into the bathroom. The discussion that evolved was great, and further cemented our realization we wanted to pursue the lifestyle.

We've always had a phenomenal relationship. It's why I married her. I felt from early on that she was the perfect person for me in every respect. She feels the same way. If it wasn't for this level of relationship, we couldn't swing. Since we do, swinging is not only possible for us but is something we look forward to engaging in. Maybe it won't turn out to be something we want to continue doing, but we're in no way uneasy about the impact it might have on our relationship.

Now, we're at the point of two days from our first visit to a club. I sit back now and look back over the last month since we started talking about this. Looking at where we were to where we are, I am frankly amazed. Yet, on the other hand I don't feel like we've rushed anything. It's been a fantastic experience so far. Even if we never do anything with another couple, the ride of the last month has been tremendous.