The kids have already returned to school (for a measly three days), but Labor Day weekend always seems to signal the official end to the summer.

Ours has gone by in blur. Friday night, Mr. Sweet played poker with our friends, while I hung out with other wives. Saturday was our son's birthday party, which was an all-day deal. Sunday we went to our daughter's game (she cheers for a youth football league) and visited my mom.

Today, we spent some time doing post-party cleanup and taking it easy. It almost felt like summer again, though the weather has already begun to cool off, and the sun sets earlier.

I fully expect my first call of the year from the sub hotline tomorrow, and a bittersweet smile crosses my face as I choose my outfit for tomorrow.

Goodbye summer, hello classroom!


=)

P.S. I hope ya'll had great summers to remember.

This blog is written somewhat in jest, but is not really far from reality.

Lately I've been a bit overwhelmed by our swinging activities. In the past 3 weeks we attended 3 meet & greets; attended a dinner/house party; and have been preparing for a trip to a house on the Chesapeake Bay with a number of other l/s couples. It does take a lot of time and energy (and $$$!).

As I was sitting here doing a few things for work, the thought struck me that swinging is almost like a business. Perhaps others have had the same thought but I've never looked at it that way.

You have a personal investment in it. Time and in most cases money.

• There's marketing. Photos, Profile information.
• At times there are references given and/or received.
• There's new and repeat business.
• There is a need for effective communication to succeed. And dressing for success helps as well (similar to marketing).
• Sometimes you need to tell current or prospective playmates the truth that you don't want to be a playmate; Somewhat like giving someone a bad review.

So I've decided to hire a staff to assist our in swinging encounters.

• An administrative assistant to deal with our online communications and scheduling.
• A promotions person to give us the best profile online.
• A driver so we don't have to worry about drinking and driving.
• Events coordinator to make sure we are kept abreast of all of the fun events in the coming months as well as helping us when we have an empty house to throw a party.

Ok, now back to reality... :lol:

Here we are again...for the billionth time. We say that we've been swinging for almost eight years, but that's been on and off swinging. We started soon after we got married and we've had some issues that have been beyond our control. Some of those issues have been health related, while others have been location related (we lived in Italy for three years.)

I'm sure you all have noticed that our breaks relate to a sudden disappearance of my posting, and it's because I'm one of those type of people that is an all or nothing...so here we go again...we're back :)

From the fem of a couple who seems to be... secure and self-aware. Yummy. I love people like that.

Hi ho.
Hi ho.
It's off to work out I go.

Too long since I've had something outside of the routine to whistle about!

What is the role of morality in sexual objectification among swingers?

I think we all recognize unchecked objectification of each other as a strongly immoral perception and this leads to victimization and disrespectful behavior. We loose our identity and individuality. What squelches rampant sexual objectification and restores balance to a healthy and respectful sharing adventure?

We've all seen examples of folks searching for BBC or many other classes of objectifications such as unicorns, BBW, or BHM... How can we be so blatant in our disregard for individuality? How do we feel when we learn we were invited to play based more on "some feature" and less on our potential to contribute as an individual? Are red-headed, bisexual babes with big knockers generally interchangeable? What about BBC gang-bangs - can sexual objectification be any more obvious?

One of the defining characteristics of objectification is emotional detachment. We have systemic rules of engagement that limit emotional involvement with playmates for the preservation of domestic tranquility. Does this limitation promote objectification? We're getting naked and bumping nasties with that walking life support system for impressive genitalia. Don't we WANT to share at least SOME emotional compassion during the play? How do we find a balance for ourselves and how do we evaluate our playmate's balance? How do we protect ourselves from abuse? How do we avoid repulsing someone we might want to play with again sometime?

Objectification is morally dehumanizing enough when there's only a few pervs out there doing it and now, upon closer examination, we find that it's a two-way street. He wants a cute little French filly and she's looking for a tall in the straddle Texan. They both get to check off a fantasy and mutually objectify the hell out of each other. Does the mutuality make it acceptable? Does the ubiquity make it any less painful? How many times has the sudden discovery of undesirable objectification during playtime triggered mass quantities of emotional drama?

Even if we're not looking for some visible feature in a playmate as an objectification basis, seeking an anonymous roll in the hay is sufficient sexual objectification to question our morality.

I suggest the check that restores some semblance of balance is the individual veto we all wield with supreme authority. We choose to indulge our playmate in their mostly harmless objectification fantasy or we exercise our right to immediately terminate play. Our conscious understanding of the potential for veto action against us restores civility to the interactions and highlights the sexy individuality behind the shallow objectification facade. It's a precarious balance.

The veto power is the hammer of morality

Perhaps, with the current Proposition 8 controversy in California, it's a good time for morality discussions within the swinger community.

While many vanillas would question our entire value systems, we have seen the true light and cast off the shackles of the strict sexual exclusivity burden. We understand the noble value of sharing sexuality with each other. Our community has no regulatory or enforcement authority. We are each acting as free agents in a permissive environment. We do as we choose, tempered by our internal moral compass and our acceptance by our peers. If we are rejected by the community, our pool of potential playmates is diminished. Honor among thieves.

Welcome to the virtual trailer park of the morality domain. You can check in, but you can't check out. We have rules here and we're not going list them for you. Put your double-wide load in lot 69 and join us by the pool when the sun goes down. [Damn, I love a good metaphor.] Some of us will help you reassemble your "redwood" deck and make sure you're hooked-up properly, but there's a few of us you'd better watch out for....

Maybe, there's no virtual community at all. There are way too many variations on "sexual perversity". We're not JUST a community of swingers, we're part of that bigger group of folks who generally choose sexual options without regard for the historical influence of the Catholic church. Also known as sexual deviants. The swingers observe one set of rules and the BDSM crowd uses another but most vanilla folks can't see the difference. Convicted sex offenders are in this group too.

I wonder how well the active participants of The Swingers Board represent the general community of swinging couples, especially in the North American continent. From my limited observations, the general consensus of the active members on the board is remarkably consistent with what we've seen here in the DFW area.

Rules of the community tend to be based on historical mistakes. We know a particular behavior should be discouraged because smarter folks than us have tried and failed. All rules must be compatible with the Golden Rule. A collective wisdom develops when we communicate our successes and failures. We can better enjoy our sexual adventures when we avoid well known detractors. I think it's interesting that long-standing rules must be periodically refreshed with the blood of Ignorance and Obstinance. Some rules may become obsolete - like, "use an easily recognizable wad of keys at the party".

We have rules for interacting with vanillas, and rules about disclosing our medical status. We have rules about what should not be discussed at sex parties.

Ahhhhhh,, Can I have another Rule Book? My dog ate the first one

Sweet iced tea and cookies at the pool party, if ya want something stronger, bring it

Turn and face the strange... oh yes, that's me.

It's been an interesting summer for PB and me. Busy! Lord, even after our two weeks when he was off work and we spent all our time together was over, we have been enjoying ourselves immensely. We even managed finally to connect with a very nice single man and hope to see him again.

Things are shifting a little though, mostly because of me. Last summer I dabbled my toes in the pool of BDSM, discovering that I have a deep untapped desire to be dominated. I spent what seemed like a lot of last summer in my Dom's bedroom, and discovered that I really really like to be tied up and spanked. But he left the scene when he fell in love, so I've been looking for someone to fill that need for me ever since.

PB is cool with it. He got a little weirded out by it last summer, but over the past year he's come to terms with it. He knows that it's something I really crave, and he also knows it's something he can't deliver. He is just not Dom material. He also knows that it's not going to take over my life. I'm just a bedroom sub, that's all. But to have that, I need to find and trust the man who will be Master behind the bedroom door.

Up until now I've been really hoping that lightning would strike twice and I would just happen to find the replacement in our regular swinging activity. Well, that approach hasn't exactly panned out. I have a feeling that many gentlemen out there may have an interest and experience in it, but don't advertise it on their profiles for fear of scaring off potential partners. So just contacting single guys and seeing if maybe they are into BDSM just isn't going to find me what I need. Which is where I was until Saturday.

Saturday we went to a memorial service and pig roast for a dear Lifestyle friend. A year ago he was fine; October he was diagnosed with cancer and he was gone by May 1st. About 20 or so of the more than a hundred people at the event on Saturday were Lifestylers. He and his wife had held regular parties at their home for years, and we had been lucky enough to join them since shortly after we began swinging. Through their parties we have become part of a strong and wonderful network of friends. There were tears and lots of hugs and kisses at the service. He knew what was going to happen, and he made a CD to be played; some talk and a lot of his favourite music, which he encouraged us to sing along to. (I did). Everyone should have a CD like that tucked away in a safe place. I'm thinking about what to have on mine right now.

Anyway, after the service and dinner, some of us went to another good friends' home to memorialise the departed in a way that he would truly have appreciated (and had actually stated more than once he wanted). Ironically enough, we were actually at a party there on the day that he passed away, and we had a toast to his memory early in the evening, when his death was announced. He would really have appreciated that coincidence. The group on Saturday was smaller, but we managed to enjoy ourselves anyway. At one point in the action, I paused, and in a discussion with a female friend, found out that she too has been looking for a Dom (from the ads on one of the swing sites I'm on, now as a single woman in search of..., I think that there are a lot of us out there!) Anyway, she recommended Fetlife, as a way to be able to focus my search more effectively.

Now bear in mind that I am a sub. I find it very hard to be aggressive and do some looking. I want to be found. Ah well. We came home, I created my profile on Fetlife, and am right now in conversation with two potential Doms. Most intriguing.

PB knows what I'm doing. Any man I decide to proceed as far as meeting, PB will meet too. I will not play alone with a man until PB and I have played with him together. Whatever relationship develops between me and this other man, it stays behind the bedroom doors, and time with PB will not be affected. We will continue to swing together, with old friends and new. BUT the nature of this activity requires a higher level of trust and bond between me and the Dom, and PB is prepared for that. Three years in the Lifestyle have made our level and trust and commitment even higher than when we began.

This is all very exciting, but I am in no rush to proceed to the bedroom yet. I see a lot of negotiation and discovery as necessary, because this is not just another swing partner that I'm looking for. However, hand-in-hand, PB and I are moving forward.

Foreword: Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

Wow. All I can say is WOW. :D

The party we attended last night was well underway by the time we arrived. As soon as we got out of the car, Jessica and Roger came running out to greet us. Apparently, they had really missed us and were thrilled to see us. We were very glad to see them too, but slightly surprised at their enthusiasm. Ariel & Eric were right behind them, also quite happy to say hello. They're one of the couples we’d been so anxious to hook up with, so we were especially happy to see them.

Many of the party-goers were already quite tipsy, but that just meant a shorter wait for clothes to come off. ;) In fact, Jello shots were brought out shortly after we said our hellos, which meant many of the ladies began losing their bras*, and lots of friendly groping ensued. I lost track of how many people grabbed or slapped our bums.

At one point, I caught the hostess playing on her phone. In an attempt to distract her, I took the unprecedented (for me) liberty of fingering her pussy. As that didn’t seem to be effective, I utilized my tongue, as well. I was rewarded with a splash. Given my lack of experience in this arena, this was a proud moment for me. :blush:

It wasn’t long before Ariel decided it was time to grab our hostess and head to the trampoline. We shucked our clothes and hopped on, soon to be joined by Jessica. We jumped until Jessica fell over, taking our hostess and me with her. Next thing I knew, Jessica rolls over and started going down on me while Ariel played with my boobs. The hostess was making her way off the trampoline.

As we returned to the house, Sally & Linus showed up. They were the hosts of the party we attended a couple weeks ago. Linus was the birthday boy at that party, and due to biological inconvenience, I was unable to give him the present I hoped for. They jumped right in and joined with the drinking, chatting, and groping, and I was starting to get something going with Linus, but the rain drove us all inside. We lost track of him and Sally when Ariel, the hostess, and a couple other girls came in naked, wet, and covered in leaves. They decided to hop on the trampoline again after the rain started.

Eric and Mr. Sweet suggested that Ariel and the hostess should hop in the shower, and I graciously offered to help scrub their backs. Again, this was an unusually bold suggestion coming from me, as I tend to be shy with the ladies. But into the shower we went, with Eric and Mr. Sweet standing back and watching. The girls got cleaned off, but the hostess got anxious about getting downstairs to her guests, so Ariel, Eric, Mr. Sweet and I made our way to one of the play areas.

It was well worth the wait, I must say. Ariel went down on me, Mr. Sweet went down on her, and I gave oral to Eric. Then Ariel let Eric have a go at me, and it wasn’t long before he was reaching for a condom. Unfortunately, Ariel was feeling the effects of the alcohol, and Mr. Sweet didn’t get to full swap with her. But they were definitely having a good time.

After she wandered out to get some water, Eric trailing behind her, I gave my hubby some oral attention before we decided to go out and see who was left. There were only a handful of guests still there, most of which we didn’t know. We didn’t have to get home right away, so we stayed to chat and help clean up a bit ‘till all the guests not staying overnight had left.

While I’m still not quite sure what got into me last night, I’ve decided I don’t really care. We had a great time, and we’re back in the swing of things.

*For those uninformed on the proper method of Jello shot consumption, classes are being held at Sweet University. Online classes are available upon request.

=)

This was certainly one of the busier weekends we’ve had this summer, but it was also one of the most fun. Friday night we went to a hibatchi restaurant to see a friend’s band play. We had a great meal, and a lovely time with friends—old and new. Drink of choice: Jack and Coke.

On Saturday, we attended the birthday party of our neighbor’s daughter. Most of the family and friends are from New York, and they are a hoot to hang out with. We had to drag the kids kicking and screaming home. It’s a good thing we didn’t have far to go. Drink of choice: White wine.

Yesterday, we met up with Mr. Sweet’s “work wife” and family to go to the NY Renaissance Faire. It’s amazing what some people think qualifies as Renaissance garb, which keeps things very entertaining. Girl and I went in full costume, Mr. Sweet and Boy made a halfhearted attempt, and our friends opted for regular street wear. We especially enjoyed watching the Tortuga Twins show. It was a bit risque’, but pee-your-pants funny. And there were a lot of knowing looks passing amongst the adults, but the kids seemed to be oblivious. Drink of choice: Sam Adams Cherry Wheat.

Surprisingly, I feel fine today (though not having to go to work or anywhere else helps). Now it’s time to count down to this weekend.

=)

...wow...today for the first time since we started this misadventure I received a series of 2 word emails from a single male in our area. Profile has no pictures and nothing filled in beyond basic information (this is on szc).

The first one was "I like" followed up 2 hours later with a subject line of "horny" with the message "big dick"...so I know I shouldn't have replied...but I couldn't stop myself. :lol: I did thank him for his interest, but as a college educated female I like people that can speak in more than 2 word bursts and since he had no pictures or any information on his profile I could not make a valid decision as to our compatibility.

The last response I received 8 hours later "your loss"...somehow I just can't bring myself to think so...unless we run into this guy at a party at some point in the future and he is hung to his knees or something and can fuck for hours...well then I might kick myself in the ass...rotflmao

JoAnn's out of town so I was looking for things to do this weekend. Washed both cars and mowed the lawn yesterday; I'm pretty good at that kind of stuff. Decided to repair the kitchen ceiling today; it was damaged by water last February. I'm not so good at this stuff but I think I learned a bit:

1. Buy ready-made Spackle paste in tubes rather than trying to mix your own.
2. Wear a face mask
3. Wear side-shield glasses.
4. Let the Spackle set up before you try to sand it.
5. Cover the food, appliances and counter tops before sanding.
6. Don't vacuum the gypsum dust using an ordinary vacuum cleaner; the dust goes right through the bag and shoots into the air, kitchen, dining room, living room, bathroom, etc., etc.
7. Next time, get somebody who actually knows what to do.

I hope I can get this mess cleaned up before she returns.

Well, it appears I've managed to piss off both of these ladies recently. As I posted in my last blog entry, I missed out on some playtime last Saturday due to my being biologically inconvenienced. Well, it seems that wasn't enough for me. My period not only decided to stick around for twice the normal amount of time, the flow pattern (sorry, that's the nicest way I know to put it) was really off, too. As this was the second month in a row I've had this issue, I've decided to call the doc. Something just isn't right. My annual pelvic is due in a few weeks, anyway, so I might as well . . .

The (sort of) good news is that we may get another shot at playing with some of these new folks at another upcoming party. Unfortunately, our regular sitter is unavailable. We're tugging a few lines to find a back up, so I'm crossing my fingers that Lady Luck will cut me a little break here.

=)

I haven't been around much the past month or so and there is a good reason...Ted gave us a serious medical scare a couple of days after we returned from our "Mountain Creek Grove" trip back at the beginning of July. He's better now, back to normal and things are going to be okay, but the scare was bad enough that I stayed in North Carolina with him the whole month of July because he couldn't drive due to the dizziness he was having.

I'll say right now that even though I've never been so scared in all my life, it was one of the best months he and I have ever spent with each other. We were together 24 hours a day for almost a full month...and enjoyed every minute of it...and really didn't want it to end. It also re-enforced our decision we made back in June, of spending every weekend together.

Back in June he and I decided that since our youngest had graduated from high school, there was no reason for us to spend every other weekend apart...(as a bit of back story, Ted lives in North Carolina, I live in Florida and he comes home every other weekend )...with me no longer having any obligation to stay home on the weekends that he doesn't come home, it was decided that I would travel to North Carolina and spend the weekend with him....it's working out great as the weekends he comes home we spend with the kids (yes, they are all grown now, but for some unknown reason we can't get rid of them and they all still want to be here, the whole weekend, that their dad is here :rollseye: )...the weekends I go to stay with him, we have all to ourselves :D.

The problem we are facing is that this weekend is my weekend to go stay with him, something I was really looking forward to, as well...not only was I going to get to spend the weekend with Ted (sans kids), but we kind of had plans on getting together with a single friend for some playtime.

However, we have a daughter who is pregnant, and although she's not due till the end of the month, according to her OB from her last appointment (last week), she is already dilating and effaced 70%...which basically means we could be having another grandbaby any day now, or it could be another two weeks before the baby is born. We were really hoping she'd go into labor this past weekend since Ted was home, but no such luck.

My "What to do" question isn't really a question as I "know" what I have to do...stay home this weekend...but that doesn't make me feel any better. I want to be with Ted this weekend, not sitting around waiting to see if just "maybe" our daughter goes into labor...I know that once our daughter goes into labor he's on his way home and we'll have a few days with each other, but it won't be the same. Yes, we may be weird parents in that we've always been there when one of our daughters were giving birth...we didn't miss the first three and we're not going to miss this one, but damnit...we were suppose to have at least one more weekend to ourselves before we had to bow to the responsibilities of being parents/grandparents.

Our daughter goes back to the OB tomorrow...not that it really matters what he says...as Ted and I decided tonight that I would be staying home this weekend as it's just getting too close to our new granddaughter being born and I need to be here for our daughter...just in case.

There is however still hope...if our daughter would go into labor either tomorrow, Thursday or Friday...Ted would be on his way home, and if she'd have the baby before or by Friday night sometime we'd still be able to be with her and make our favorite house party on Saturday night...that just happens to be this coming weekend.

That may seem callus and selfish, but we realized a long time ago that children grow up and form their own lives and eventually really don't want to have their parents around, so you nurture the relationship you have with each other...because in the end, all you have is each other. Hence, the disappointment of me not going to N.C. this weekend (spending time with Ted and possible play time) and/or Ted not coming home this weekend, if our daughter doesn't go into labor (again, time with him and possible play time).

We'll put our lives on hold for our children/grandchildren, but we won't stop hoping and/or planning for our own time with each other and what WE want to do.

Damn kids...I love them more than life itself, but they sure do put a damper on what me and their father wants to do at times.

T.

I just realized that I have been visiting this site, reading the forums,blogs, and fantastic stories since 2006, and I have never actually posted anything.... I guess there is no denying my voyeuristic tendencies :)

It was an interesting ride in the car. Me, my wife, my ex-wife and the female voice inside of the Garmin GPS navigation device. Difficult enough to take directions from one. A bit tougher from two. I almost wrecked having three.

My daughter and her husband of eighteen months are in-town for a visit. I have taken a couple of days away from work. Yesterday we decided to visit the area's premiere amusement park. Daughter invited her Mom along, of course. Daughter and husband went in their own automobile. Me and the three went in the Toyota (hood surfing with a two-seat roadster is, unluckily for me, illegal in Pennsylvania). It was rather awkward when the Toyota's hands-free Bluetooth device lit up with the name of a female swing lifestyle acquaintance. My wife, feeling a little ornery, started reaching for the "answer" button on the touch screen. "I'll call her back later", I told the occupants of the car. Ex was full of questions, of course. "Who is Blondie?" I think I am going to rename the entries in my cell phone.